December 28th, 2020

Ah there's nothing like a calendar year without Rod Telugu movies. For anybody that's new to Telugu movie terminology, a ROD is basically a movie that's so bad that the entirety or most of it feels like somebody banging their head with a rod and forcing them to continue watching what's about to unfold on screen. 2020 has been an unprecedented year in world history, yet some directors were still able to dish out rods this year. Let's take a look at the worst and biggest rod movies of 2020. 

Nishbdam - An absolute joke of a movie, every single actor, technician, producer, and whoever else was involved should be ashamed to have been associated with such a shitty movie. This was not only a rod and assault on your senses, but Hemanth Madhukar and Kona Vnekat should issue an apology to the audience for making such an unbelievably stupid movie. Fom Anjali's pointless narration and the genre shifts from horror to mystery to finally revenge, the movie seemed like a mockery of the best detective thrillers. Paiga Seattle lo shooting and Micheal Madsen presence okkati. Ayina role oka adbutham. F-U-C-* thappa vaadiki okka line kuda ledu. USA ki vachi, Prime ki ammi, andaru kalisi audience ki oka pedda rod dimpaaru. Okka mukka cheppalante, Penguin 2. Keep scrolling. You'll be in for a treat. 
 

Penguin - Ee cinema gurunchi yemi cheppali. Oka Ratasasan, Oka Raghavan, Oka Penguin. Suspense cinemalu ki oka pedda bokka ante idi. Keerthy Suresh looks like a skeleton and with a killer on the loose, she leaves the kid not once or twice but some 50 god damn times. Pillodu nee yenni vodililesthav yedava danna. Keerthy garu acting doesn't really disappoint, but producer Karthuk Subbaraj and director ni pattukunni thannali. Zero logic, worst script, worst everything and the most routine twist of friend being the killer. Killer ki kaanisam yeetha (swimming) vochu. Prethi sari shevam cheruvu lo petti malli paiki vasthadi. Guess this shmuck wasn't loved as a kid and decided to start killing them herself. Like Prudhviraj says to Brahmi in Ragada after a failed robbery "ippudu neeku bokke bokka". ROD. 

Disco Raja - Raviteja ante andariki istham but his script selection just hasn't been able to adapt to current times and standards of Telugu cinema. Asale 3 rods vacchayi ippatiki and VI Anand ayithe minimum hopes vunnayi. Kaani cinema result okka pedda rod. First 20 mins taking thappa, rest of the movie complete rod. Worst execution, useless heroines and Payal especially RX100 taravtha she is Iron Leg. 3rd straight rod for her after RDX Love and Venky Mama. Ravi anna is trying but market range isn't even touching 10 crores. Final share was 7.86 and result was disaster. 

Entha Manchivaadivuraa - Satish Vegesna Srinivas Kalyanam lanti Rod dimipina taravatha inka buddi raale. Adhe preaching, adhe template, adhe sodhi. Nobody likes Kalyan Ram in the first place and vaaditho chethulu kalipi Sankranthi ki vidudala ayina cinema EMVR. Asalu Sarileru and Ala Vaikunthapurramulo tho poti chestharu ani yela anukunnaru? Trailer lo oka shot vuntundi kosi kaaram peduthaadu anta. Yapt ga chepparu because audience also had the same feeling when watching the movie. Felt like someone was cutting their insides and putting kaaram on them. ROD and disaster. Rod ki c/o address Nandamuri Kalyan Ram. 
 

Aswathama: Naga Shourya has been trying hard since Chalo for a solid success and wrote Aswathama but one does feel he's trying too hard and went from a hearthrob to full on action hero in the span of 4 years. Marred in controversies from Mehreen's issues with Ira Creations and a villain who rapes a dead body in his introduction, Aswathama was much like it's hero's career. Trying really hard to be engaging but fell flat on it's face once again. ROD. 

Johaar - Released on AHA for Independece Day, this inter connected story about a statue clearly inspired by the recently built Statue of Unity in India, Johaar was interesting for about 20 mins before it just runs on nonsense with typical cliched scenes which are dragged to the end. Nobody's performance registers except Krishna Chaitanya and the direction was completely off despite the best efforts of Eeswari Rao and Subhalekha Sudhakar. 

Jaanu - When I saw the original 96, I didn't like it because it's a movie made for boomers and being 23 years old I don't have any nostalgia to feed off of besides videogames or old music. The movie was just over the top and seemed unbelievable that one man is a 40 year old virgin cuase he gave his heart to some girl back in high school and couldn't move on. To remake a so called "classic" that everybody has already seen was the first dumb move by Dil Raju and then to cast a dude who looks like Sharwa and was a grown ass man to top it off didn't help. The movie lacked soul or had entertainment and was literally a scene to scene and dialogue to dialogue translation and it did nothing for the movie including a man who died while watching the movie in India. 7 crores share disaster and ROD in the end. 

World Famous Lover - Vijay Deverakonda disappointed us in a big way with Dear Comrade as the movie was neither engaging nor did it do anything for it's subject matter except shine light on it. Naturally expectations on his next film were high but after seeing it's directed by Kranthi Madhav who made the cult movie Malli Malli Idi Rani Roju, people got wary. And it seems that Vijay is still in an Arjun Reddy hangover where he plays the same angry young guy who breakups with his girlfriend and then cries about it the rest of the movie. And then they go to France for no reason and he acts as a blind man once again for no reason. With no proper story, bad music with Lion King and Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara ripoffs, and 3 heroines who didn't serve any purpose besides saying my heart is just bleeding, World Famous Lover became World Famous ROD in the end. Wonder which girls name Deverakonda will be screaming next. Oka Preethi, Oka Lilly, Oka Yamini. Whatever the girls name is, I pray for all the girls named that in real life as well. 

O Pitta Katha - The first Telugu movie to gain traction after the pandemic was official, people said this movie was timepass and I watched it and ROD Raa Babu. Featuring Viswanth and Brahmaji's son along with Brahmaji himself, they promoted this movie as some amazing suspense thriller and what not. Too many twists, amateur direction, and just flat out boring narrative made this movie a slog to get through. You eventually get tired of hearing the same Rakshasude, Veedu Rakshasude BGM the entire movie. Don't even think about watching the movie. GRADE A ROD. 

Miss India - Ee cinema gurunchi yentha thakku cheppina inka yekkuve. I mean can you imagine a movie that gets greenlit with Siri being a dubbing artist for one of the characters and also providing background narration in a scene where Keerthy Suresh is walking on a street. The director Narendra Nath had a good idea on paper but the execution would even him slap himself for how torturous it was. Silly sequences that defy logic, atrocious direction and the literally the 10th time for Jagapathi Babu playing the corporate villain in an Indian movie just tested your patience to the limit. Hollywood clearly understand how to use OTT but Telugu Film Industry seems to understand it as we can dump our rods here and torture our audience. Another Kankara ROD for Keerthy Suresh who by the way won Worst Actress of 2020 with two all time Rods in Penguin and Miss India. Feeling bad for Sarkaru Vaari Paata now. Iron Leg and Rod confirmed possibly. Director and Producer ni nadi road lo andaru mundu cheppu teeskunni kottali. Mahesh S Koneru, neeke raa. 
 

47 Days - No other actor had more releases in the lockdown or pandemic than Sathyadev. One of his to be released movies 47 Days opted for an OTT release on Zee5 and result was a ROD. Horrendous execution and zero thrills throughout. A bad choice for the talented actor. 
 

RGV's Climax - Can you imagine someone who has had 25 straight RODS across all languages and still gets offers. It still blows my mind that RGV is still relevant in Telugu fandom and circles. Starring Mia Malkova on a beach with the worst production values as usual, the movie was a ROD redefined. No story? Check. 0 acting skills? Check. Mindbending camera angles throughout which makes no sense. DOUBLE, TRIPLE. QAUDRUPLE CHECK. Inka cheppalsina avasaram ledu. Meeke ardham avuthadi. STAY AWAY. 

RGV's Naked - Starring Apsara Rani who will next be seen in the item song in Raviteja's Sankranthi release Krack, ee cinema vochindi poyindi. Nobody cares and torture levels 100%. ROD number 2 this year from RGV. 

RGV's Thriller - Vochindi poyindi. ROD number 3 for RGV. 

RGV's POWERSTAR - This movie created hype due to triggering illiterate Pawan Kalyan fans as usual but in the end we didn't get the trolls we were expecting nor was it engaging. It was just commentary on how Pawan is being misguided and has the wrong people around him in life to succeed in politics. Didn't matter though because the movie was a ROD once again. A record 4th ROD for RGV in the same calendar year. Have to hand it to the guy. He sure loves his records. 
 

Maa Vintha Gadha Vinuma - Siddhu Jonnalagada made his mark in the divisive Krishna and His Leela and like Vijay Deverakonda, he seems to love remaking the same movie over and over again. He's also the script writer for this movie which features his Krishna and His Leela co star Seerat Kapoor as the heroine. The story is the same as Krishna and His Leela and useless dialogues, ridiculous plot points, unnecessary curse words, boozing, smoking, kiss scenes and everything in between made this movie a ROD. Aha might have had a special event for what's coming soon on November 13th but it's best they focus on the present because this is one more ROD in their content library. Silly and simply unbearable.